I molested 6 butterflies tonight
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
