I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
