to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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