so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
