I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
