ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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