were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
