New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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