My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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