: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
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They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
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They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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