My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
