Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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