You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
