he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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