You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She told me I should be a condom model.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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