Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
