She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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