Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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