I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
