My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
