Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
