turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
