did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
