Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!

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  (843): Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes! http://tfl.nu/yo6w
  Replies (9) Good night (580) Bad night (2850)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?

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  (225): he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel? http://tfl.nu/f7r7
  Replies (40) Good night (1231) Bad night (3336)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"

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  (501): I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay (602): I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay" http://tfl.nu/cfbv
  Replies (20) Good night (4206) Bad night (908)
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  (949): View more from California

  It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth

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  (949): It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth http://tfl.nu/i6ri
  Replies (8) Good night (667) Bad night (3691)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....

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  (586): Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child.... http://tfl.nu/unbg
  Replies (23) Good night (1028) Bad night (4221)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me

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  (904): i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me http://tfl.nu/h7rm
  Replies (32) Good night (847) Bad night (4044)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop

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  (720): I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop http://tfl.nu/llg8
  Replies (36) Good night (5921) Bad night (1792)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics

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  (513): i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics http://tfl.nu/sgxc
  Replies (9) Good night (4261) Bad night (1144)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.

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  (919): Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride. http://tfl.nu/6akp
  Replies (4) Good night (6841) Bad night (1096)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight

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  (713): We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight http://tfl.nu/owr2
  Replies (6) Good night (763) Bad night (4242)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end

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  (+27): we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end http://tfl.nu/vfas
  Replies (10) Good night (6455) Bad night (1265)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected

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  (443): I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected http://tfl.nu/8335
  Replies (3) Good night (1533) Bad night (801)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night

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  (614): Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night http://tfl.nu/qw5j
  Replies (3) Good night (752) Bad night (767)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."

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  (630): my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation." http://tfl.nu/ju2j
  Replies (4) Good night (726) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.

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  (516): He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP. http://tfl.nu/qa9j
  Replies (0) Good night (315) Bad night (596)

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