That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there