went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.