Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.