He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
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i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
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my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her