So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
