So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Everclear isn't food dammit
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
