Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
