when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
