Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
