HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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