It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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