I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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