I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
