It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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