her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
