I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
