And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I think I am morally bankrupt
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
