apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?