My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here