Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
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im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
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The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk