Pappa wants mamma naked
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.