: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
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Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
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What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.