please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
