I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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