Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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