It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
