i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Found the puke drawer
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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