im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize