lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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