What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
