i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
