Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
