I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize