they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
