Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
