so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
