True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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