I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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