I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
