That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
