Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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