Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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