hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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