No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
