Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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