found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Do vagina's smell?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
