Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
