hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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